Damage or Growth?

Ouch! This journey hurts more than I ever imagined possible. Yet at the same time, I am healing and growing.

When someone goes in for a much needed surgery, the doctor cuts into their body and removes or replaces something that doesn't work properly. He causes pain at the surgical site. But the surgeon didn't cause the problem. The pain he inflicts is meant to help repair damage. He is helping the body heal.

Just because it hurts, doesn't mean it's bad.

No one likes pain. But sometimes, pain is the best motivator. When nothing else gets our attention, some healthy pain just might be what's needed.

For me, my body was shutting down and my children were suffering because of the strain of living with an angry, self-centered, controlling man. The pain of this realization motivated me to take the next steps and confront my husband. And I rehearsed this line so I would be ready:

"I know I am causing you pain, but I am not injuring you".

At the time, I thought the initial confrontation would be the hardest step and it would get easier as time went by. And in some ways, that has been true. As I have stood my ground, I've grown new spiritual muscles.

I am developing new ways of thinking. I am learning to feel my emotions instead of stuffing them deep inside. I am discovering how much the Lord loves me just as I am.

But it is still very painful. As I make decisions necessary for my own health and healing, the pain doesn't go away. In fact, sometimes, it hurts even more.

I find I need to remind myself of this truth: Lord is the Great Physician. He is working in ways I don't see. Even though this hurts, God is not injuring me... He is healing me.